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Bits and Pieces

Hello. Welllll, there isn't much to know about me. In other words, don't ask. Hey, but if you really want to know, one word: psychopath.. Anyways... I'm just another one of those bloggers out there, blogging about how crappy life is, etc. Pathetic, is it not? Life.

trippin'. Friday, January 30, 2009 |

i'm having a bad day... which is probably a continuation of yesterday's bad day.

i guess everything was ok when i started work today. i'm usually very cheerful at work. but then at a certain point, it got so busy. it was customer after customer, order after order after order... what was worse was the fact that the manager was at the bank, leaving only me and another co-worker at the outlet. i obviously had to be the one in-charge because i was the only already certified barista in the house bwahaha my co-worker during that shift somehow had to be the trainee who doesnt speak english well, and what else, his reaction time is oh-so-goddamn slow.

i always treat everyone else who works with me nicely, but i blew my top today. i just felt like screaming at him. i just felt like scolding him and berating him for not using his brain. i wanted to stomp my feet and shout so badly because it was that bad. but no, i had to practise a certain level of restraint. with my back to the customers, i just put on a really ugly face and started screaming in a talking way at him. then i faced the next customer at the counter and smiled. "Good morning, sir/madam. May I take your order?"

so yea, it was intense.

there were espresso & brew orders, gourmet orders, ice blended orders, pastry & muffin & cakes orders... and there i was, forced to take orders while the they piled up behind me. then the nincompoop had to go to the kitchen to prepare the food. for god's sake! couldnt you just help me with the beverage orders outside first?! gawd, it was like an early judgement day.

but i recovered. a few hours later, i had to go home. and because of a certain incident yesterday, i just didnt feel like talking to anyone of family members. i'm not angry at them though, i just wasnt in the mood... i just didnt want to talk or to look at their faces. and for now, i dont think i can look at my dad the same way anymore. what happened yesterday was just so surreal, so incredulous, tears just started to well up in my eyes. and i hated every moment of it.

and of most of my wishes, i just wish i was never there to witness any of it.

i need a hug right now, but then, it's not like i want a hug from any of them.

oh well, i'm off to slaughter some zombies now and get the shit scared outta me in the process. lol... that's my kind of therapy.
bye bye~



yesiree, the whole world should revolve around me.

another goodbye. Tuesday, January 27, 2009 |

driving home from the airport was the worst part. as if sending off one of my greatest friends wasnt bad enough, the radio had to make it worse.

hear that, FLY FM? you're on my list! i have my eyes on you too, HITZ FM!!!

had i been driving with friends, it wouldnt have been that bad. but i was driving home alone! ALONE I TELL YOU!

but hey, at least i got to sing and scream and shout my heart out to each and every sad song played.

and CK? i guess you managed to squeeze a tear, if not two, outta me. it happened in the car after you called me. you really know how to choose which moment to make that last call, dont you? but yea, thanks.

and gosh, before i forget: you were so adorable waving your hands off. HAHAHAHA

you + me = dysfunctional

i would have put up the photos taken at the airport but i just looked absolutely dreadful. some people look good when they're sad. i just looked horrid. when that happens, every smile i make is 100% certified forced and fake and UGLY! besides, my hair was just urgh... indescribable.

so... bye?
nah...
see ya later, alligator!

p.s. at least you gave a better hug than Seumas... lol




we're gonna make such fools of ourselves.

sentiments. Monday, January 26, 2009 |

my aunt gave birth to a son last october, and i didnt get to see him until today.

AGHHHH!!! HE'S SO ADORABLE!!!

gosh, i just wanted to squish him into oblivion.

he's probably the youngest now in the entire extended family. also probably the last of the children my aunt and her generation (eg. my parents, other aunts and uncles) will ever have. wait, i think he is.

and hmmm... i'd probably already have children when he's 17. hahaha... okay, not funny because i'd be THIRTYfreakinFOUR!

in other news;
i wasnt really in the CNY mood today, at least until i got my hands on those new year biscuits.

i really wonder when i'll have to start watching what i eat because as of now, i can eat whatever i want and not gain any significant weight. i just hope it's not so soon... or even better, never.

by the way, i think i'll implode soon because i havent been playing tennis since forever.


hey, did you ever meet my friend, ian?
he's a computer hacker.
he helped me erase your myspace page...
and your band's myspace page...
and your facebook page.
happy networking, asshole!

clouds in my coffee. Tuesday, January 20, 2009 |

joel and i had fun today, although the cake we baked wasnt really nice-looking.

in fact, it was ugly. gosh, how i wish i could improve on its presentation.


ok... maybe you shouldnt see how it was like before we gave it a 'facelift'.

joel kinda jinxed it. so blame him.

and yes, it's the same cake ck and i made for seumas's birthday.

one was made for his birthday,
so we made another to celebrate his arrival in sydney!

LOL. joking la.

but i do realise one thing. i havent been spending much time with joel.
he told me so many stuff i was not aware of.
so, i'm sorry.
we'll spend more time baking ok?
especially since seumas is gone and ck is next.
haha

i'm so bad.

seriously, i really feel like i had been ignoring him.
but i guess he's also quite busy with his own obligations.

about work; i'm starting to tire.
hayati, the manager, is driving me crazy!
her mood swings are incredible!
like, come on! please dont bring your problems/ bad mood to work.
it just really ruins everybody else's mood to work.
working at coffee bean can be enjoyable, but usually only when she's not around.
macam naga sahaja.
i lost my nerve last night. kept silent the whole time. that's what you get for starving me.
that's the reason why i always yearn for shifts with the assistant managers.
they're so much more relaxed. and they're fun!
GAWD.
anyway, cant wait for friday: morning shift with bell!
but then it'll also probably be the last day i'll see nazreen.
he's going back to kl.
sigh.
there's a new manager though, anisha, who seems ok.
hopefully she doesnt turn into another naga.
better watch your back, hayati. because enough is enough.

i'm addicted to katy perry's new song.
i just find it so meaningful.
'i kissed a girl' and 'hot n cold' may be no. 1 hits, but this is the song to listen to.
the emotion channelled through the song is just raw.
it just tugs at the heartstrings, especially after i watched the music video.
you're like an indian summer in the middle of winter
like a hard candy with a surprise centre

i'm such a sucker for romantic stuff these days.





i'm thinking of you.

bang bang bang; introducing ladyhawke. Monday, January 19, 2009 |



When you hide next to me
With your eyes up close to me
I hear footsteps in the dark
When you hijack my heart

Cool breeze down the hall
I can feel you breathe
Outside my door

Bang bang bang
On the wall
From dusk til dawn

Do do do do

When you sense you’re not alone
And the darkness starts to moan
Who’s There?

Shadows all around
But you don’t make a sound
Voices in my head
Playing like an echo, echo

Bang bang bang
On the wall
From dusk til dawn

Do do do do






paris is burning.

sundown. Sunday, January 18, 2009 |


bye, Seumas.
i guess i'll see you in december.
:)

disco balls and la-la-la-LOUD music. Saturday, January 17, 2009 |

i'm actually still recovering from the experience, but i'm not saying it wasn't fun. it was! i just didnt dare show it. i didnt dare show how much fun i was having. i'm self-conscious. exceptionally so when having to dance, or just jump around, in a room full of people. it's just so hard. and i'm sorry.

anyway~
okay, so i admit it. i went to a club. and it was called MOIS. sorry everyone, i'm not a good boy anymore. OH WAIT, i havent been a good boy since... when? 2007? yea, when i dyed my hair and got caught in school. it was nothing, but it was something as well. nothing because, who cared? to everyone else, it was just another stupid student trying to attract attention. but to me, it was kinda liberating. it was deviating from this innocent, naive boy i've been labelled with since forever. fair skin did not help my predicament. i still remember being called the snow white of my class in primary school. then later, i was teased for it with SK-II references in secondary school. tragic, wasnt it?

but most of the time, i stick to my roots. i'm still the quiet boy; loud, ludicrous and sarcastic only with my closest friends. i dress casually, only thinking about being the best-dressed in my fantasies. i draw up potential scenarios when in certain situations, almost everytime going with the safest and most boring one. i am consciously repressing myself, yes. dont laugh, but i honestly think that part of me could be friendlier, crazier, more outgoing... if only i could just let go. instead, i am this quiet, reserved, moody asshole of a kid who overthinks every single goddamned detail.

about last night: i got flak for not making enough of an effort last night. thanks, chun kit. for pete's sake, cant you at least see that i tried? if not for the encouragement, i would have just stood by the table waiting for you guys to finish shaking your arses off. what would you expect from someone like me? you want me to just explode onto the dancefloor? GAWD. that's murder.




and about my troubled expression... well, i have no excuses for that. i just find it hard to smile when doing something so shameless for the first time. i use the word shameless because, to me, dancing club-style requires a lot of GUTS, and that's something i dont have. and FYI, i dont know how to dance, or dont know how to act like i know how to dance, so of course i was too aware of how silly i would have looked.

but ultimately, i did have fun. what i'm afraid of is that, i think i could get used to it.


bring it on, bitches.

sweet and sour. Thursday, January 08, 2009 |

sweet. with a tinge of sour.

hmmm. how do i say this nicely, Jo? how do say this without getting killed?

i guess i'll get straight to it.

the cookies, well, they're GONE.

my brothers and cousins kinda got here first. around a dozen cookies devoured in a day. not exactly surprisingly, if you would ignore the fact that the cookies were as big as my palm!

the cookies i made this time were different. (emphasising on the 'were' because they lived to see the light of day for approximately 30 hours only; really, i never had a batch of cookies have such a short lifespan)

they were (emphasis, once again) different because they were really, really chewy. my friend said it was lemau, or lau hong. is there a word to describe cookies like that in english? hmmm, how about chewy? how about chewy, ck? no? my previous cookies, if i'm not mistaken, were rock hard. i hated them. they got rave reviews though.

anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i bake fabulous cookies.

harhar. har.



sour. maybe bitter as well.

what i dont understand is how narrow-minded some certain people can be. because frankly, i have deep contempt for such people. well, i have to admit that i'm in a very big way a narrow-minded person as well because open-minded people do not hate narrow-minded people. well, i'm not that kind of open-minded person anyways.

look, i hate folks who talk about religion. even more those who seem to be able to relate it to everysingledamnthing in their lives. i mean, good for you people with religion! religion can be good, and the only way to keep it good is to just shut the eff up about it. people who preach especially irk me. they make me uncomfortable. the one thing i especially cannot comprehend is their thick skin. they keep on blabbing even when the non-believers (who incidentally will be joining me in hell) become evidently uninterested. tip: when they stop looking you in the eye, move on. when they look annoyed (that annoyed, maybe even rabid dog look when you read this entry? yea, that look), move on! when they start picking up rocks and start throwing them at you, MOVE ON! hopefully your next victim would be some brainless idiot who likes playing the game "jesus says..."

go on. go on and quote the scriptures. i'm sure you can find one to condemn whatever i say or do. i really wonder if they attend courses for this, because seriously! they can really quote the bible no matter the situation.

little girl: mummy, i feel sick...
mother: why? what happened?
little girl: well, i ate a bit too much ice-cream just now...
mother: (furious) now you listen here, young woman! (deep, haunting theatrical voice) Proverbs 23:20-21 "Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags."

i think i may have exaggerated a bit. but who knows, all sorts of people exist...

excuse me.

winebibbers? bibbers?! HAHAHAAHHA!!!

ahem.

anyway, i know a lot of people are going to condemn me. i'm okay with that. what i'm not okay with is the phenomenon where people condemn in bad english. sorry, but what really bothers me are those who are able to speak english, albeit broken english. i'm not trying to act superior, but seriously, it creeps me out. also, before you do it, please dont pelt me with rocks. i bruise easily. you can wave your crosses at me though. by all means, drown me in holy water too.

my main point is, do these religious zealots seriously assume that everyone is subject to their all-encompassing rules? there are dozens of faiths around the world. so please, stop trying to shove your holy book down our seemingly blasphemous throats.

but with all due respect, religion is beautiful... well, until a certain point. the aspects i dislike about it are the possibility of religious fanaticism & extremism and that "people who dont believe are going to hell no matter what" crap. well, isnt it in a way ironic? religion is suppose to be peaceful. yet we have suicide bombers here and there, radicals who express undescribable violence towards societal minorities... how can its followers not practice what they preach?

honestly, people with faith have my utmost respect... i'm just afraid of how ugly things could get sometimes. i guess i should be at fault too, because i have to admit it: this image of angry, violent religious people condemning others to the fiery pits of hell has been ingrained in my head. not everyone is like that though, i know. lumping stuff, or people, together under one broad generalisation aint good.

still, this discussion regarding faith and religion can never ever end. nobody will win the debate, nobody will lose. because religion can never be erased, and it will continue to inspire and corrupt the minds of humankind. inspire, because God is love. corrupt, because of the so-called religious wars declared in God's name, among other stuff.

conclusion; dont talk religion to me. because i truly think that people can be good and kind without faith, although i cant say the same for those with.




all i wanna do is find a way back into love.

crikey. Wednesday, January 07, 2009 |

it's 3.45 am.

*MEOW*

and the cat scared me.

gawd.

almost got a heat attack.

cant i go for a piss in peace?

2009. Thursday, January 01, 2009 |

i had a new year's party with my co-workers this morning, which started at around 1 am and boy, was it insane. what a way to start off the new year. everything ended at 5am. so yes, i am very tired.

i had to wake up at 8am because i had to fetch my parents to the airport. oh well.

something funny happened. we reached the airport at 8.40am(dad was driving). so after i said goodbye etc, i drove off. my parents told me to call them when i reached home. fine. i arrived home at 9am sharp. so i called.

hello?
hi. lost your way already?
urm, i'm home.
WHAT THE~?! how fast were you driving?! are you crazy?!

*bla bla bla*

yea, that was reeeaally funny. i can tell how hard you're ROFL-ing on the floor right now.

so far, my first day in 2009 seems great. hopefully it continues to be so, because i seriously cannot predict what kind of mood my managers at coffee bean will be in. it's scary.

so,
happy working! be good! and always serve with a smile!
i say to myself.

...sorry, but i talk to myself sometimes. it's called being crazy.

oh well, i'm off to sleep now. good night... or morning. whatever.



i just cannot stop thinking about it, and it's killing me. i just can't.