i wish i could say that i was okay. but i'm not. i'm not okay.

i'm feeling like shit these days. besides having my circadian rhythm all fucking messed up, i just do not feel like doing anything for the time period when i'm actually awake. my number one priority should be revising for my SPM, right? harharhar~ that's actually the last thing on my mind right now. i spend my days decaying in front of the television and computer, stuffing myself silly with kitkat and M&Ms, worrying and thinking about my non-existent future. yes, how productive.

a haagen-dazs buffet could have temporarily alleviated my pain, but in the end, two friends backed out. i really cant comprehend why anyone would give up an opportunity to gorge themselves on good quality ice-cream, esp when it's only for 40 damn ringgit(excluding taxes). one said his relatives from really, really faraway land came for a visit. the other i have no idea BECAUSE HE DIDNT GIVE ANY FUCKING REASON. well, he did at least have the balls to sms me at 3 in the morning, I REPEAT AT 3AM, saying he wouldnt be able to make it. excuse the language, but... oh wait, you wouldnt understand, so just PLEASE shut the fuck up.

i desperately need something to hate right now. something, or someone, to actually hit, kick, punch, throttle, bludgeon, stab, pour boiling curry on, throw a cellphone at, chop up, marinate, and put into the oven. i NEED to release all this pent-up rage, anger and frustration.