1. firstly, i want to say i am not emo for being like this. but yes, i am very sad and disappointed with myself.
2. my tennis is deteriorating again (not that it was great in the first place anyway).
3. my grades are impossibly baaaad.
4. my skin is diseased.
5. my teeth = metal.
6. i'm partially blind (and i cant get them lasered until i'm at least 21).
7. i have no useful talents. wait, so you say i can photoshop, but will that get me good grades? hmmmm...? (HA! gotcha.)
8. according to someone, my sarcasm is fast becoming an irritant.
9. i cant even talk well (i actually need speech therapy that's usually reserved for special persons).
10. i am lazy and undisciplined and am ALWAYS tired = zero productivity.

some of these arent even exactly expectations! thats how pathetic i am! self-bashing!

sigh. why... WHY?! how am i suppose to live like this! agonising...

maybe i should take a break. a holiday in melbourne sounds great... the only problem is that i have no money! none! nil! langsung tak ada! ARGH! (and to those who insist i'm one of those rich people who deny their rich-ness, fuck you! I AM NOT RICH, get that?)

is it the world's abnormally high standards that's pressuring me to expect so much of myself? or is it just me? i hope it's the former because otherwise i would have to soon admit myself into an asylum.

hmmmm... being bound in a straitjacket and bouncing around in a padded cell actually sounds quite fun.

am i suppose to expect so much?