it's like this: i dunno why, but some people are still setting off fireworks and firecrackers, whatever. like hello people, face it. CNY is over. go do something useful like cleaning your stinkhole toilets or something.

so anyway, the dog gets scared of the noise. so it squeezes in through the front door. and by doing so, the mosquito netting gets torn. it's been torn for quite a while already. but someone chose to get angry over it anyway. and that's my dad! and in the process, innocent people get hurt. he shouted at my brother to get the dog out. he screamed at my mum to pay for the mosquito netting. his face got all red and if you were there, you could have seen the steam billowing out of his ears. and to think it was such a jolly scene before. everyone was watching their favourite chinese soap opera(except me, i was fiddling with my handphone). my mum even jokingly offered him wine like a wine connoisseur.

well, i just glared at him.

i was just disgusted. appalled. repulsed. i got up and just got out of the living room.

he may be good and kind and thoughtful at times but his temper overshadows everything. and the worst thing is, he gets furious at the littlest things.

i crash the car. fine, you can explode.

i forget to bring my handphone but i'm already in the car and there's suddenly armageddon right in the driver's seat. what a way to die, right? i just hope it's quick and clean when it really happens.

the other worser than worst thing is, he's only like this in front of his immediate family.

he shouted at my mum because she forgot to run some bank errands for him.

when my uncle, which is his brother, happens to forget too, he just tells him to go do it the following day, in a calm and cool as a cucumber voice, as if it's no big deal...

...which it's suppose to be.

but in the end, we cant say anything. you know why? because he is in control of the money. if you do him any wrong, dont expect him to continue spending money on you. it's not like he would take any of our advice anyway. he's too high and mighty for any of our shit. i'd rather shut myself up than to be told to shut up.

one good example is when he does his own bank errands. so one day, he goes to the bank. he enters the bank and there is quite a crowd. so he takes his number and waits. when he comes back home, he'll be bursting with post-impatience and complaining to my mother at how degrading it was. at how... hey wait, DEGRADING??? excuse me but you have to wait in line just like everyone single person in that bank. you think you deserve the express lane or something? well, let me tell you something, mister: there is no such special express lane to cater to such stuck-up and presumptuous people like you.

another issue is when it comes to good things such as us children doing well in school etc, things that would make any parent proud. he'll be the one saying: oh! it must be my genes.

when it comes to the bad stuff, it's my mother who gets the blame. if my brothers shout and scream and quarrel, he'll be saying how bad she's bringing us up(and where were you when we were growing up???) if i woke up late, he'll be all angry and crazy, then he'll be scolding my mum at the end of the day when he comes back from work. you should be scolding me, not her! talk about the sacrifices my mum make...

sometimes, when i daydream, i make up situations, situations where someone will come up to me and tell me that a loved one of mine has died. when it comes to my dad, i wonder if i will even cry. grim, isnt it? *touching wood*

i really hope he stumbles upon this blog entry. if he ever does, i really hope this will be a wake up call for him. nobody deserves to be treated this way. one day, he's all happy and gives you a rm100 angpow. the next, he'll be saying how he wont support you financially when you grow up, even if you really needed it. i know there are people worse off than me, but still...

but reading this blog, to him, will probably be the case where the ungrateful and disrespectful son decided to men-derhaka against him. in that case, i'd rather him not stumble upon this blog. i really dont wanna be ripped to shreds... :/